Water water everywhere....

I never know how to start these things and it is usually late at night (like now) so my mind is no the sharpest. But we will just roll with it.

This last weekend was pretty fun. I spent the weekend up at Sun peaks resort where my inlaws have a condo. We went up with my wife's fam including her brother. It was a really fun weekend overall and got to relax, eat good food, and also got to go downhill mountain biking. For sure the first time I have down anything like this. I rented a bike that was worth around $5000 and we headed up for the day. Really really fun, and I am now, really really sore! :-) My father in law, brother in law and I all went up. It was a bit harder then I exspeced and even the "easy" runs required some good balence and riding ability.
   All and all it was a great day with only one bigger fall, lets just say I am really glad I was wearing a full face helmet!
  Now it is back to work, should be ready to put down floor joist and plywood tomorrow. Houses are going up pretty fast and the heat of the summer is gone so that has made working condition nicer. Now we just wait for the snow :-)


   So in order for me to actually log on, and start writting a blog there has to be somthing that I stand back or htink about and go.

Hey, I should write this down!

  Sometimes excited, sometimes not. Tonight is a not. I was actually thinking about loneliness. It is an odd thing and I admittedly don't understand it that well.  I think that growing up in a family that is pretty tight nit, and having a lot of friends around I did not have to deal with it to much as a kid. Even in highschool and the years after, I traveled alot but it was always on the way to see a friend or family member. There was somebody there, somebody to say hi to that understood not only your language, but also understood where and how you grow up. You had something in common with them, even if it is just by where you parents decided to raise there kids.

   But this last year, I have had to deal with loneliness more then ever before. Now don't get me wrong, I have friends here, I have friends back at home. I have been blessed to not just have my family but now also my in laws completely support me and love me. And most of all, I live with somebody, ya I know crazy. She is my wife and she is amazing, and we know eachother well, and are and will continue this for a long time.

  There are also people all around me, from working, to hanging out at night. Because of my and my wife's personalities, our house is the hang out house. It is not uncommon for somebody to be over for dinner or a movie or for a great session of grounders. (if you don't know what that is you are missing out. Email me) We are constantly surrounded by people and I think until this year I would not have thought you could be lonely in this situation. But I have learned that you can.

    And I don't want this to become some sort of my life sucks kinda thing, because it truly does not. I think that I have just come to realize a little bit htat you can be lonely from there being nobody around, yes. But you can also be lonely in a crown of people, and furthermore. You can even be lonely in a group of friends at times. I think this happens more often when you move away from a place where you were pretty well established. When you move to a new place, people don't know you, not really. THey don't know how or where you grow up, they have not been through thing in your past that have made you the person you are today. And yes, they are with you now, and they are the ones actually helping define you now. But there is still that missing link that comes up everyonce in a while. And that is what I am feeling tonight, a little lonely. A little out of place and a little not sure of direction.

   As I got up from bad to come and read a bit, I starting think that this was most likely the way that Christ felt when he was on the earth. He had his earthly family, but they did not understand where he came from. He had his work mates, but they did not understand where he came from. He had crowds, He had friends and even 12 men that he poured his heart into  on a very deep and personal level. And yet, even they did not fully understand where he had come from, who he was, what he was all about. Christ had to feel lonely at points in his life.

  I recently had a chance to teach at a bible camp and the topic that was given me was on prayer. I did my best to make it relevant, to show that Christ did it and explain why Jesus prayed. I fully believe what I talked about was true. But now I would ad another thought to it. I think that Jesus prayed at times because he felt lonely. I think that even though he had all these people around him, His disciples around him almost all the time. But in the mist of all this going on, I believe that Christ felt not understood, felt that nobody shared the same mindset, the same ideas as He did. I think that Christ pulled away to pray because he simply needed to talk to somebody that understood him. that knew Him from the start, that was with him throughout eternity.

  Does that all make sense? I am still thinking about it but it makes sense to me. And lets be clear, I in no way want to compare what I have been through and the changes that I undertook in the last year to come close in anyway to the act of a God, becoming flesh. To the struggles and hurts that went along with Christ's act of selflessness is far beyond our understanding. And in the lack of understanding we have, makes my mind rest in peace as I get ready to sleep tonight. Yes, I am still lonely, and yes I will feel lonely from time to time in the future. But I serve a God that has also felt that, but on a deep, deep level. In ways that we could not stand, and would never want to.
And yet this same God, is my rock. Is my never changing point of direction. He is always there and knows me far better then I know myself. He not only knows where I grow up, but the hearts and lives of everybody that I have ever talked to or interacted with.


So as I go to sleep, I rest in that. In the never changing Love and person of Christ.


Christ in ALL.